Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
