atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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