How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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