saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I currently don't understand fingers.
its liver damage thursday
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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