I can text with my tongue
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
