The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
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