she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
