Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
