it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
