Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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