Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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