drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
