I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
