Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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