this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
My cat gives me a boner
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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