We won't sleep together?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
