Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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