uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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