so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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