The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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