You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
