remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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