And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
