Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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