she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
