If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
foreskin is a definite game changer
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I am mentally ready for anal.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
