was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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