Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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