my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
