What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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