Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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