If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
