Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My breasts were aching with rage.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
