Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
