his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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