so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
