ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
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