He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
