U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
That's when you crack a 10am beer
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
