i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
