He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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