she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
