So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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