Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
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