did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
