The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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