I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
