Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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