No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
