Whatcha textin bout Willis?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
