i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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